For some reason I have found switching off this Saturda
y particularly hard. It’s been a busy week and there is still so much to do but nothing that has to be done now. So why am I struggling to sit down?
I am on duty in the boarding house but it’s a quiet weekend with many pupils at far away matches or busy revising for their mock examinations. They don’t need entertaining which feels odd, normally boarding at the weekend involves cooking or arts and crafts, trips ice skating or shopping. Or even watching their TVs Programmes and joining in the ridiculous conversations. Activities that my family join in so feels relaxing and gives me down time but I am actually working. But today …… I have done odd bits around the boarding house, displays etc but nothing amazing. Why can’t I switch off and watch some telly on my own? It’s the first weekend back and I have been on duty for the last 4 out of 5 evening so you would think that I would be ready for some me time or some time with my family. But as with teenage children they are busy. Son is away at a hockey match, daughter at gymnastics and husband busy marking while watching the rugby so that idea is out the window. I read somewhere on Twitter that teaching is 100mph term time and then abruptly the breaks are applied during the holidays but that’s when the sickness bug hits you so you need to plan exciting things to keep you going. A change is as good as a rest.
But that’s not the only issue. Guilt plays a part, I feel terrible if I do something pointless. Which is why when I am watching some of my silly TV I often do a cycle or some ironing. I prefer holidays that involve something, like skiing or walking. I have learnt that to get me to sit on a beach has to involve a book ( hence the picture) and maybe an iPad to write blog or two. I have always been a lover of list. There is nothing better than crossing things off and admiring things you have accomplished for the day. But the word relax is never on that list, and if it was when would I know if it’s completed? ( a bit like the ironing pile, which never ending). I realise this is my problem and not one that school has inflicted on me but being a teacher seems to be one of those jobs that you can be doing more. More planning, marking, research or more time with the pupils.
So…….what am I going to do about it. For Christmas I got a Fitbit and it’s actually been good for me. I feel that I am completing a task. That I can be proud of my achievements on any day. It has also helped me focus on my running. A hobby I enjoy. It helps with my mental well being and is half an hour when no one can ring, text or email me. Focusing on this has been a New Years resolution and until today one I thought I was doing well with. Writing this blog post has lifted my mood and has felt like an accomplishment. Knowing how I work or think gives me a bit of piece and perspective. However I still stand with my original thought that relaxing isn’t as easy as it sounds, so it’s still on my to do list.